I have dire news from the world of Socklandia. The Sockie Race has been wiped out almost completely (there were about a thousand of them that were hiding under the stack of porn mags smoking your hidden stash so they weren’t noticed), The Sweaties have had their numbers diminished dramatically, and the Lint Sect has had losses beyond those seen in the great sock war of ’03.

On the minds of all of those reading I’m sure is “Who could possibly perpetrate such a heinous crime?” (Unless you put two and two together from the picture above in which case you’re obviously smarter than the people who couldn’t figure it out.) Well, fear not, for I will not make you wait. The evil-doer, behind this atrocity is none other then the Zombie Cat.

Some of you may be unfamiliar with this terrible creature of the night, but understand that he is one the most terrible, and dangerous creatures ever to have roamed the earth. He is actually patient zero for the rabies virus, though no one will ever admit it. Other than being the reason so many cute little animals turn on their owners, or why Ozzy Osbourne was forced to endure several shots to his posterior after his ill advised decision to bite the head off of a live bat, the Zombie Cat has been attempting to overthrow various mythical creatures. The toothfairy? Disemboweled, and subsequently devoured by the vicious feline zombie. The easterbunny? Decapitated, with it’s head used for a cat toy. Santa Claus? Well Santa would totally eff up the Zombie Cat, but as he can only leave the North Pole once a year (for fear of permanently throwing the earth off of it’s axis), and the Zombie Cat isn’t dumb enough to go to the North pole himself knowing that Santa would take him out, and have cat steaks for dinner that night. Anyway, I digress, Zombie Cat has a history of being a bad dude, and his latest target was the Sock Elves.

Now, I just want to put it out there, that the Sock Elves didn’t go quietly which is why there are still some left, because the sock elves are a strong and prideful people, who feel a great desire to protect themselves against outside forces whenever possible. However, due to their diminutive stature their individual power is very low, which is why when up against a powerful foe, all of the sock elf sects will come together, and in the case of the Great Zombie Cat attack of 2010 it was no different.

It all began on a normal Sock Elf night, the Sweater Sect had left Socklandia in order to start moving dressers and other odds and ends around your house. The Sockies were protesting the unfair treatment of striped socks, while the Lint Sect was working dililgently on spooling collected lint into spools of thread to later be sold or processed as clothing. Little Sock elf children were playing hide and seek in the condom box, and a general calm and contentment had fallen over the land of Socklandia. Suddenly as if it were a high speed eclipse a blackness came over the land until the drawer was ripped open, and they all looked to the skies to see the silhouette of a manic feline, teeth bared, malice-filled eyes red, staring down at them. The Sock Elves acted fast, armies appearing out of no where, elastic sling shots appeared, marbles, and darts, and all manner of paraphernalia began streaking through the air like little comets streaking across the night sky.

They were too late however, as they were making their preperations a white paw swooped down taking out lines of Sock Elf soldiers, leaving a pile of blood lint and cat fur in it’s wake. Quickly following, the cat leapt through the air taking the hits from the sock elf weaponry in stride and began furiously batting at, and mawing the sock elves that stepped into it’s path. The battle escalated, sockies forgoing their normally peaceful ways began using their protest signs as torpedoes, wounding the fiendish feline with flying signs from protests gone by. The Zombie Cat retaliated against the sock elves with renewed aggression, and with a swipe of it’s paw fell hundreds of thousands of his tie dyed foes. Concurrently the Sweater Sect hearing the commotion leapt fiercely into battle and began tying the zombie cat with their sweater wool until with a feat of enviable strength he tore free of the bounds killing many of the Sweater Sect in the process.

In an act of brilliance that will be talked about for years to come. The Lint Sect began furiously moving around in a seemingly random pattern, and then suddenly in the midst of their movement a shape began to from. After much additional scurrying, and more and more sock elves joined in until a dog appeared in their midst teeth bared, and leapt at Zombie cat. An epic battle ensued, a pile of fur and teeth and claws tumbling end over end with the dog gradually taking the upper hand, and finally grabbing Zombie Cat by the scruff of the neck, then with a large shake of the mysterious dog’s head Zombie Cat fell unconcious and was thrown from Socklandia. The Drawers were closed, and the sock elves began to pick themselves up after the disaster, and the Lint sect walked to the dog, and pulled a spare piece of lint, which resulted in the dog being reduced to a pile of thread, and various bits and pieces of metal, and cermamics.

The Lint Sect had realized that the only way to get rid of an annoying cat is a dog, and so the Lint Sect saved the Sock Elves by creating a Robot Dog to fight the Zombie Cat, if human kind would take notice the inevitable zombie invasion will only be that much easier, as nothing is better at zombie destruction than a robot.

I am here today not to provide a recommendation, but rather to write about a real and daunting issue that haunts each of us on a sem-regular basis. That issue of course is what happens to my left sock? As not only a ruler of the sock drawer, but the purveyor of confessions from said drawer I am uniquely qualified to provide answers to this baffling question humanity has been trying to tackle for centuries.

The answer in short is Sock Elves, now of course this is not enough information nay, if anything it leaves more questions than answers. So because of this I will tell you the story in long.

What many people fail to understand is that inside our sock drawers there is a constant battle between the various contingents of sock elves that live therein. For background purposes I will explain the three main contingincies:
The Lint Sect
The Lint Sect is a group of Sock Elves who’s main harvest is the lint buildup that occurs in the bottom of the sock Drawer. They are a mostly peaceful tribe, though when provoked have been known to hold grudges for extended amounts of time.
The Sweater Sect
The Sweater Sect is a group of Sock Elves who’s main harvest is stray thread hanging from your socks. If no stray threads are present they will begin to unravel socks to generally at the heals and toes. They are called The Sweater Sect because they make the ugly sweaters that your grandmother gives you for Christmas. They are a bellicose, and ill willed tribe, also, they move your furniture at night so you stub your toes in the dark.
The Sockies
The Sockies are a group of Sock Elves who don’t believe in labels, and as such don’t call themselves anything. The term Sockies comes from the other sock elves, and is thought of as a negative term. They believe everyone is equal and love everyone. They will smoke any paraphernalia that may be left in your drawer. They are fond of tie die, and protest everything, once in an example of poor protest organization one group of Sockies protested another group of Sockies protest against the injustices of being in a drawer sans paraphernalia. This is considered an embarrassment to the Sockies and should not be mentioned.

Okay, now that all of that is out of the way, lets get back to your left sock. Inside your sock drawer the sock elves are constantly bargaining position, well, not usually the sockies, they’re usually just getting high and protesting the capitalist tendencies of the other sects. Anyway, so the Sweater Sect hereby referred to as the Sweaties, often go through a recession of sorts when you buy new socks on account of the lack of loose threads, and will borrow in great amounts from the Lint Sect hereby referred to as the the LS. The LS gradually amass a huge wealth, and the Sweaties wealth gets lower and lower. Being a naturally bellicose tribe they invariably attack the Sockies to steal their wealth, and find nothing of value, though they reek much havoc, and generally leave reeking of patchouli. The Sweaties hereby referred to as the Super Sweaty Sect of Sock Elves will then in frustration turn with great rage upon their debtors the LS. Now, the LS hereby referred to as a bunch of pissed of sock elves who thought they were being nice to the Super Sweaty Sect of Sock Elves and feel betrayed by the Super Sweaty Sect of Sock Elves will invariably fight back as they’re not dumb and deserve what they have. So great wars between the Super Sweaty Sect of Sock Elves, and The Bunch of Pissed off Sock Elves Who Thought They Were Being Nice to the Super Sweaty Sect of Sock Elves will commence. These battles wage for many sock elf years, and great casualties will pile on up on both sides. Now, being limited by what they can find in their surroundings Sock Elves have limited weaponry at their disposal, but being naturally ingenuitive creatures, they have found ways to fashion weaponry out of the one thing they have at their disposal: Socks. Now, as the sock elves year is roughly 1/100th in length of our own time goes by fairly fast, and these battles are infrequent, so it is only “semi-regular” in our own time that such events would occur. However in their wars socks will often be lost, and more specifically Left Socks. Once, there was the great Right Sock war, which was unmatched in it’s brutality, and body count but that is a story for another time. So now we know that the Left Socks are used as weapons in the Sock Elf Wars, but occasionally a Sockie will try to smoke one as well. So next time you are upset over a missing sock, know that not only should you be mourning the loss of your beloved left sock, but of the lives of countless sock elves as well.

As I said at the beginning life has been very hectic as of late, so I took advantage of a weekend with as few obligations as possible, although I still managed not to spend that much time at home, though Minerva and I got to spend a lot of quality time together which is a nice change.

My recommendation for today is Google Wave. It’s a wonderful realtime chat/IM/email system. It’s still in the preview phase, so you’ll need to find a friend with an account to nominate you, but it’s worth it.

The plan is one I have developed based on various workout plans I’ve attempted over the years and is based around interval and weight training, though there will be some body resistance exercises as well.

Shaniqua and I will be taking pictures and measurements which I will post here (of myself at least Shaniqua is able to make her own decisions) any day now, and are starting the workout on monday.

I will be providing updates along the way, as well as giving examples of the workout as we move forward and they progress.

This should be an interesting workout for me because it is primarily designed around fat burning and muscle building as opposed to my usual focus which has been strength training.

So today I leave you with the suggestion to wish me luck!

See you all next time!

These are the words written on a plaque next to the Statue of Liberty, these words were meant to symbolize what our country stands for. We’re the melting pot, the land of opportunity. In fact, most of us have family members who immigrated here within a generation or so. Such a high number of us even have relatives who read the words on that plaque as they got off of a boat coming to this country. Yet, in the last week alone I’ve heard comments about “building walls” instituting laws removing the rights of a child who was born in this country (and therefore a citizen) from receiving basic health care benefits because their parents are immigrants. I hear comments about how they don’t contribute, how they do nothing but take.

As of 2003 the unemployment rate for Whites over 20 was 5 percent, African African Americans at 10.3% and Hispanics (at whom the majority of immigration complaints are directed) were at 6.4 percent. (Source: U.S. Department of Labor, Bureau of Labor Statistics. Web: data.bls.gov .) Think about that for a minute. African Americans are 3.9 percent higher, and Whites are 1.4 percent less. This doesn’t indicate to me that Hispanics are any more likely to be unemployed, and when it’s taken into consideration that their median income is dramatically less than that of whites, it would actually indicate that ::gasp:: they are less of a drain on the economy.

Granted, the statistics I’ve mentioned are for legal citizens, but bear in mind that most illegal citizens would be more than happy to be legal citizens, but we do not allow it. Why not? We don’t want them stealing our jobs is the general response I hear, but answer this for me. If you increase the population, that would indicate that the service industry would need to grow to support that right? More retailers? More teachers? More doctors? More nurses? More janitors, more of most jobs. Not to mention, they’ll need to eat, they’ll need clothes, they’ll need entertainment, which means billions of additional dollars flowing into our economy. In addition increases in payroll taxes would result in even more money flowing into our economy. Will the number of people requiring public assistance increase? Yes. However, will that cancel out the boost our economy will receive as a result? I don’t see how.

I know that not all immigrants are Hispanics, however, this is the main group people complain about, why is this? Well, I think you’ll find there a couple of reasons. First of all, they’re coming, and they’re coming fast. Secondly, they’re hanging on to their own culture to a degree, sure they’re assimilating, but they hold on to their identity, and we don’t like that. I’ve heard the argument “They’re in our country, why don’t they know our language? if I went to their country I’d learn their language” What is the national language of the United States? Is it American? (I’ve heard this stated emphatically on more than one occasion) Is it English? Or did our founding fathers not provide us with one. Maybe because of what our country was built on? We were an escape, we hear stories of religious freedom sure, but in addition, we were a haven for those seeking political asylum, or just a better life in a far away land. Our ancestors were afforded a right that we are willing to take away from others, why? The second reason I feel is simply that we don’t know what to do with another culture, and that scares us, this one is aimed at more than Hispanics, it’s aimed at Arabs who must all hate women, america, overall western ideology, and are most likely terrorists. Or, what about the Hispanics, they’re here trafficing in humans, and drugs, they’re starting gangs. I could keep going, but it’s not worth it, we can all run off a hundred stereotypes about a hundred different races. I’d rather spend my last few sentences saying this. If you look back in history, horrible things have occurred due to fear, we all know the huge one, but they’re continuing to this day. Martin Luther King Jr. said “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” we’re closer, hell, we’ve even elected a black man as president. We’re making huge strides in the right direction, but at the same time we’re taking giant leaps backwards when it comes to immigration.

I know I’m not going to change a lot of minds. This is a subject most of us feel very passionate about one way or the other, but I hope I can make at least a couple of people think about it at the very least.

For the Record, I’m half Lebanese, my father was born in Lebanon, and was a muslim. My mother is Irish and Italian, her parents were both born here in the US, and I was raised as first a Roman Catholic, and then a Unitarian. I was born in a small city in Western Massachusetts and identify myself above all else as an American, and I’m very proud of that fact.

I’m not going to suggest a book, or a cd, or a movie today, instead I am just going to suggest that you take a second to remember it’s easier to love your neighbor than to hold them in fear.

Firstly, Minerva is an amazing and wonderful woman. She’s strong, independent, beautiful, and intelligent. That being said, she can also be very dependent. If you meet her, you’ll more than likely be struck by her strength and independence. She’ll have a drink in your hand before you know it, and you’ll be included and having fun in whatever the surroundings. This is the image she is generally thought of as having in our social circle. What people don’t see, is that she’s sensitive, thoughtful, and caring. That regardless as to how in control she appears to be, she’s a little bit lost all the time. She’s easily flustered, although more often than not if there is a solution to be found she will find it.

They say some people have “old souls” well, if that’s true, she’s got a young one. You’ll never guess how old she is, because she looks younger than she is, but also because she’s got a childlike exuberance that extends to everything she does. She’s very easily excited, and she’ll do anything for someone she cares about.

She’s a project manager for a living, and it’s really the perfect job for her. She’s a Virgo in every sense of the word, she’s always trying to organize something. She can say what she will, but I feel that half the reason she chose me is simply because she saw the ultimate challenge, as I am not organized, in any sense of the word, whether it’s my thoughts or my desk at work. She’s so talented at it too. Whether it’s organizing a camp, or organizing plans for our trip she can do it in a way that no one else I know can.

Truth be told I am proud of her, I admire her, hell, I even look up to her a bit. She’s had an interesting life, and yet she still hasn’t completely given up. She’s a project sure, but I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Another decision I’ve made is to suggest something every blog, so this will continue until I decide I don’t want to do it anymore. Today’s suggestion is a book by an author by the name of Christopher Moore. He writes irreverent and quirky books that never fail to make me laugh, while at the same time generally being fairly intelligent. The book I’m recommending to day is called Lamb, and is the story of Jesus’ missing years as told by his childhood best friend. This book is not for the closed minded mind you as it can and will offend some.

If you want more information you can find it here

Well, talk to you later.

So some days you might get tech suggestions, some days you’ll get a book or music suggestion, some days I may just rant about my personal life or what ever else pops into my little head.So on that note I’ll end my first blog recommending a musician. I don’t normally listen to this type of music, but I came across her cd and I fell in love. Well, I hope you do too. Talk to you soon.